Day 16

Day 16

Wow how to start?  I’ll start with the bad and end with the good.  

If a gold medal is given for stumbling and falling, I make Michael Phelps look like…..well me.  It has been a rough several days.  I have had multiple failures in all 3 areas of the fast, mind, body and soul. 

Days 13 – 15 are always the hardest for me.  I, on several occasions, have “snuck” non fast foods.  The cravings got strong and I caved in.  It was never a lot of food, just a bite here and a bite there, but none the less, cheating.   I would like to say it tasted bitter in my mouth, but it was good.  This happened to me when I did the 21 day fast last year. It made me realize that we do the same with God.  We commit a little sin here, a little sin there and before we know it we are miles away from God.  Some of these “little sins” no one ever knows about but you and God.  Are these little moments of hidden pleasure really worth the distance WE move from God? Ask any parent of a toddler, it doesn’t take long for a nice outfit to be ruined with just a small snack. 

I did manage to get up and get my 30 min in this morning.  I had a great quite time with God as I ran.  It allowed me to focus on what I wanted to do this week: the steps I need to take to move closer to my goals. A conservation I had yesterday at church with a dear friend helped me focus on just taking it step by step, not looking at day 40 but focusing on the short term.  I told her I am trying to do this fast as public as I can to force me to be accountable.  So when I fail lots of people are going to see it.  Failing publicly is a major fear of mine and scares me to death.  But if I fail publicly then I will get up and succeed publicly.  I keep asking the Lord to be glorified in my failures. 

Spiritually I have been all over the road.  I have struggled with my daily devotion, partially because I lost my book for a couple of days and partially because I just did find a way to study Gods word.  I found an excuse.  As a coach, I hate excuses!  Cant and wont give the same results.  I have always had a soft spot for those kids that just can’t do something and have never had much compassion for those that have the ability and just won’t do it.  Wait isn’t that me?  I have the ability to study Gods word, I just choose not to.  How does that make God feel when I put the world before the Word?  I just thank God that he has more compassing for me that I do for my athletes.  Bro Shannon made a comment yesterday that hit home.  The Devil always pays in counterfeit money.  That rich reward looming in front of us that the world says is important is not real.  It is only a mirage to turn our eyes from God until we reach the point of eternal separation. 

Even though I didn’t blog it, one of the devotions from this past week talked about always entering the house of God with something. Now I try to tithe regularly, but what about the weeks I don’t get paid.  What do I bring to Gods house?  This really hit home.  I find myself going to church for something instead of bringing something.  What more do I need?  I have been blessed beyond measure.  I am going to make a point from now on to bring to Gods house not take from.  How is this going to work….I have no idea?  I will figure that out as I go.  I have several ideas, but not sure yet.

Here is my prayer; Lord let me feed on your Word so I can better serve you Amen